


Hidden

by luIIabyes



Category: Eyewitness (US TV), bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: Catholic, Drug Use, Homophobia, M/M, Slow To Update, Suicide, Teen Angst, Teen Pregnancy, Teen Romance, most likely homophobic language, set in early 2000s, this is literally bare but philkas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-08-30 17:45:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8542786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luIIabyes/pseuds/luIIabyes
Summary: How could a simple love get complicated?





	1. Chapter 1

"If maybe we were silent, or we had spoken."

Location: St. Ann's Catholic Boarding School.


	2. you & i

The dull golden lighting lit the faces of the students and the blustering organ filled their ears, keeping a few from falling into their weekly church nap. Some were occupied by the large window panes full of stain glass, some were distracted by the deacon's awful lisp, and some were distracted by others. Take Philip Shea for example. He was once again starting at the bleached blonde student who was sitting peacefully in a pew across the church.

The students of St. Ann’s Boarding School were once again being forced to attend their weekly Wednesday ritual of mass. It was something that got boring very quickly and it was dreaded by a majority of the student body. But if someone noticed you were absent, you would be hunted down and put on suspension. The Lord’s hour is the most important hour. At least according to Sister Juliet.

Philip was still staring at the boy when the congregation stood, watching the priest say his script he had to say every single mass. He felt a kick on his shin, realizing he was still sitting staring at Lukas, he quickly stood up, his cheeks turning a shade of pink. 

He looked quickly back at the blonde, this time he was staring at him too. Lukas raised his eyebrows in a suggestive manner making Philip smirk. Lukas mouthed the words “kill me”, this time Philip snorted a bit, receiving some stares. The congregation bowed. They sat again. 

Mass went by as a blur as always. Lukas and Philip kept making eye contact and mouthing words the whole time. The last thing Lukas mouthed to Philip right before mass was about to end was “meet me in the practice room.” 

Mass was always before breakfast, so meeting in the always abandoned practice room after Wednesday's morning mass was something the two boys sometimes did. It depended on how Lukas was feeling or who he was with on those Wednesday mornings. So every time he asked Philip to meet him in the practice room he knew Lukas would be in a good mood. 

“Hey.” Philip was greeted by soft lips upon his. Lukas’ hands went into Philip’s soft curly brown hair. Lukas always tasted of peppermint and Philip loved that. He loved that so much that sometimes when Lukas would ignore him for a prolonged period of time, Philip would suck on peppermint candies.

“Good morning?” Philip asked, stroking his thumb across the blonde’s soft face. 

“Great morning! Last night, I was asked to do the speech at our pep rally before graduation.” Lukas smiled wide, that made Philip’s stomach flutter. 

“Oh, no valedictorian speech for Lukas Waldenbeck?” Philip giggled, staring into the boy’s bright blue eyes. 

“I'm extremely charismatic, not extremely smart. Anyways, this speech is way less formal than the actual graduation speech, I can have more fun with it.” 

Philip leaned into kiss Lukas again but Lukas pulled away. “There's something else.” Lukas was smiling wide once again. 

“Last night my dad called saying he got a pretty thick package from Notre Dame yesterday.” Lukas raised his eyebrows, waiting for Philip to respond. 

“It was probably an extremely long rejection letter listing all the reasons why you'd be an awful fit for their school.” sarcasm was Philip’s quick reaction to nervousness. He was always nervous around Lukas.

“Ha ha. You're quite the comedian Philip.” 

Philip leaned in again, this time Lukas accepted his offer. Their lips linked together like perfect puzzle pieces. They remained in each other's arms for a while before a grumble came from one of the boy's stomach which was begging for food. 

“Let's go.” Lukas said. Philip reluctantly nodded and he let Lukas leave the practice room first, not before giving him a quick kiss goodbye. He always made sure to do this because who knows when Lukas would want to see Philip again. Philip waited 5 minutes, and then left the room and headed into the mess hall. 

The hall was full of rowdy students who were all yelling and laughing. Lukas had already found his friend group and was eating by the time Philip had arrived in the room. Lukas and him made quick eye contact before his attention was grabbed by Edie Fairway. Her real name is Edith, it's a family name and she hates it, so she makes everyone call her Edie. Philip got in the breakfast line but his focus was still on Lukas’ table. He heard a booming laugh from Stevie Springs, a boy who called a Lukas a friend but truly was extremely jealous of the boy. Probably because Edie and Lukas have always had this hovering “thing” that went on between them and Stevie was obviously head over heels in love with Edie. 

Philip sat a table horizontal from Lukas’. As much as he hated to admit he, he tried to be as close to Lukas as possible at all times. He was intoxicating to Philip and he couldn't stay away. While staring at his food intensely and trying not to look up at the table, Philip listened to the conversation that went on at the across the way. 

“So what time would we have to leave?” he heard Stevie ask. “By at least nine. That's when the van is left unlocked.” Lukas responded. “How would we get it to start without the keys genius?” Philip heard an unfamiliar voice ask. “The keys are always left in the sun shade, genius.” Lukas responded.

“So, are you coming?” Edie was now speaking. “I don't know, maybe.” Stevie responded. “Maybe?” Edie asked, stretching out the word which was followed by light giggling. Philip could only imagine Edie leaning against Stevie, letting the trap she had him in crumble beneath him once again. 

Philip heard a groan followed by a mumbled “fine.” The bell signaling that the first class was about to start rang. Chairs scooted across the wooden floor and the volume of the students talking quickly increased rapidly. He couldn't make out much from the table’s conversation but he did hear the sentence said by Lukas, “meet behind the chapel at 8:45 and don't tell anyone else, the van only has 8 seats.” 

That's when Philip finally looked up for the first time since he sat down to eat. He once again met eyes with Lukas and was greeted with another eyebrow raise and the words mouthed “want to come?” 

Philip, immediately filled with joy, nodded yes smiling ear to ear. He didn't even have the time to think that this would be the first time they'd be in public together. Of course it would be nothing more than them being seen as just peers, but Philip didn't care, at least they'd be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is short, they will increase in size progressively as time goes on. I don't know the fate of Eyewitness but I'm going to continue this (slowly) because I truly love this story idea and these characters so please, stick with me. But yeah, the chapter's titles are named after the songs from Bare that chapters are sort of based off of. I'm so excited for this hehehe


	3. rolling

Philip glanced down at his phone screen once again, 8:30, one minute had passed since the last time he checked the clock on his phone. Lukas would be arriving to get him from his room any second and Philip was just as nervous as he was excited. Philip spent the whole day wondering why Lukas had asked him to go when just a week ago Lukas was acting like he'd never seen the poor boy in his whole seventeen years of living. 

Philip knew that this “relationship” was extremely unhealthy. But he didn't let that thought come into his mind that often and when it did he'd always remind himself how infatuated he was with Lukas. He was in love with the boy, he knew this for a fact. Philip also always pushed this thought to the back of his mind truly because it hurt too much for him to think about it. He knew Lukas didn't have the same feelings for him, he could never reciprocate the same love for Philip as Philip has for the blonde. 

Philip took a look at himself in the mirror, making sure he looked as presentable as he imagined himself to look tonight. He fluffed his hair but then quickly patted it back down. There was a knock at the door and it made his heart jump. When he opened it he was greeted by the person who constantly took up his thoughts. 

“You look nice.” Lukas said with a smile, leaning against the door frame. Philip smiled, his cheeks turning warm and pink which Lukas noticed. 

“You're cute when you get all flustered. Come on, we got to go, I have to be the first one to the van.” Lukas put his arm around Philip’s shoulder. They fit perfectly together with Philip being just that much shorter. They walked gingerly down the empty hallway, not wanting to alarm anyone that might stop them. They also wanted to be quiet just case someone was about to walk around the corner because God forbid somebody sees Lukas Waldenbeck with his arm around a boy. 

“So, where are we going again?” Philip spoke up after they finally made it out of the dorm building. “We are going to a rave out in a cabin near the back of the woods.” Lukas responded looking around as if he were extremely paranoid. He was focusing on watching for people and Philip was focusing on Lukas. Lukas took his arm off of Philip once they were in sight of the dark chapel. They both quietly walked around to the back. They were the first ones there, but not for long. They were quickly greeted by Lukas’ friends, people Philip didn’t ever hang around. They gave him some stares wondering why this kid came with Lukas, but no one asked any questions. They were just focused on their plans of getting as wasted as possible tonight. 

The last to show up were Edie and Stevie. Edie was already a little tipsy off of the alcohol she got from God knows where and Stevie was guiding her, making sure she wasn't making too much noise so that they all wouldn't get caught. 

“Hey guys! Party’s here!” she giggled but was quickly shushed by everyone there. “Fuck, sorry.” she glanced around, her eyes quickly landing on Philip. 

“Philip Shea? Why are you here?” that ended up sounding blunter than she intending it to be but she didn't care. Everyone had their eyes on Philip now, it's the question that was on all their minds and they all waited for an answer. Philip instantly became incredibly insecure with all eyes on him and he clenched up, looking at Lukas to answer the question he wanted the answer to as well. 

“I invited him. Kid has no friends so I thought I'd be friendly and invite him. Is that a problem?” Lukas said making eye contact with the ground. Everyone continued to stare at Philip thinking about how sad it was that Philip apparently didn’t have any friends. Philip just wanted to crawl into a hole. 

“Ok, let's do this.” a boy named Matt said breaking the awkward silence that had fallen. He grabbed open the door to the van and the group all piled in, Lukas in the driver's seat. They all had a sigh of relief when the keys were finally found not in the sunshade but in the glove compartment. 

“Turn the lights off until we get onto the road.” a girl named Claire said. The van made its slow and quiet drive through the abandoned driveway that went through the forest and onto the main road. They somehow, by the grace of God, made it out of the school and on their way to the rave. 

“Oh shit guys, look what I got at the “pharmacy”” the boy Matt spoke up, pulling out two small baggies of white powder. “Anyone in the mood for some snow?” he laughed. 

“Fuck, how the hell did you get these?” another girl named Anastasia asked, grabbing the little baggie from Matt’s hand. 

“That's none of your business, but you could give me a kiss in return if you'd like.” he smirked, turning his head towards hers. 

“Yeah, maybe in your wet dreams.” she responded, handing the bag to Edie who was a little too eager to get some into her system. She placed a little on her hand and she snorted it quickly, sniffling loudly after she finished. 

“Fuck Edie, save it for the party.” a girl named Jane exclaimed, grabbing the bag from Edie and handing it back to Matt. 

After a short drive, the white church van finally arrived at the cabin which was illuminating blue and purple lights. 

The squad of eight all gathered around Matt who was passing around the baggie of powder. Each teen took a turn until it made its way to Philip. He lightly placed some on his hand then passed the baggie over to Lukas who did the same. The only difference is that Lukas actually snorted it and Philip just quickly without notice, swiped the powder to the ground. The bag made it’s way to Edie who inhaled the powder a second time. She was the first one to run into the party, followed by Stevie. 

The rest of the group trickled in. Lukas whispered into Philip’s ear that he'd meet him inside, but for him to go first. So that's what Philip did, making a beeline to the table full of alcohol. He lost count of the amount of shots he took with the already drunk out of her mind girl that befriended him as soon as possible before Lukas walked over to him. She was very charismatic and Philip felt lonely, so she took that he was there by himself to her advantage and she got a drinking partner.

Alcohol and Philip Shea do not mix very well. He loses his body and mind over to the drink and he seems to lose more and more control with every sip he takes. 

“Hey!” Philip yelled, grabbing onto Lukas’ face and smashing his lips onto the blonde’s. Lukas pulled away, giving Philip a look of complete fright. 

“What the fuck Philip?” he yelled, his hands still in the brunette’s hair. 

“It's a rave!” those three words spoken by Philip shut Lukas up and he allowed the boy to kiss him once again, this time a little longer than the last. After their lips lingered, Lukas pulled away again.

“Let's go outside and get some air.”Lukas quickly said and Philip followed him outside into the midnight darkness of the forest they were surrounded by. Once they were quite a distance away from the cabin, Lukas grabbed Philip’s face, harshly putting their mouths together, but this time Philip was the one to pull away leaving Lukas extremely confused. 

“You couldn't kiss me inside?” he asked, taking a step back.

“I said I wanted some air.” Lukas took a step forward. 

“No, you just didn't want people to see us kissing inside.” Philip took another step back, making sure the boy knew that he wanted some space.

“Trust me Philip, people probably saw.” Lukas grabbed his hair and looked towards the ground.

“And where are those people with pitchforks and torches, oh wait, no one gives a shit when everyone is coked and drunk and completely fucked out of their minds!” Philip yelled, placing his index fingers on his temples for affect. 

“Fuck Philip, don't you understand? I can't have even the smallest chance of anyone finding out about, this, okay?” Lukas sternly said. “You have to stop acting like this.” he sighed, his voice becoming calmer. 

“Like what? Your boyfriend?” Philip responded with a sense of intensity to his voice.

“Boyfriend?” Lukas scoffed, finally making some sort of eye contact with the brown eyed boy. 

“Lukas, we've been doing this shit, or whatever you want to call it for three fucking years now. Three years! I don't know about you but that's what I consider us and I honestly don't get why we just can't tell anyone?” 

“Because Philip,” Lukas began to choke on his words, he tried to find the right thing to say. He knew Philip was right, but he couldn't tell anyone, ever. If anyone knew that Lukas had an attraction to men, it would honestly kill him. “it’s just best kept a secret okay?” 

Philip was about to retaliate but he decided against it when he noticed the pain in Lukas’s now glossed over blue eyes. So he shut up and nodded. Lukas didn't know what else to say so he kissed him once again. Their lips interlocking perfectly as if they were created to fit softly onto one another's. Philip pulled away, whispering something he's wanted to say for three years. 

“I love you Lukas.” 

Lukas looked into the smaller boy’s eyes, he rubbed his thumb on Philip’s now rosy cheek and sighed. He quickly placed his lips on Philip's. 

In that moment, on that night, Philip Shea felt the most pain he's ever felt in his whole life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I updated quickly heh. A lot happened just now, sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm giving credit where credit is due. This story is loosely based off of the events of the musical; "Bare: A Pop Opera". Do with that information as you choose, but I don't recommend ruining everything for yourself. <3
> 
> I'm only going to post a little bit, I'm going to see if I should continue this or not.......


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